Polygamy Porter

I went to St. George, Utah last August and was walking to the rest room at the restaurant when this caught my eye.

I’ll leave the comments to you.

Best Things About Jamaica

I just got back from an amazing trip to Jamaica mon. Yes it’s true they say mon after everything.  Thank you mon, yeah mon, no mon. You get the picture.

While the language is fun and entertaining to listen to, there are lots of other things about Jamaica that I really enjoyed.

We stayed at the Iberostar Resort in Montego Bay.  If you go to Jamaica be prepared to tip.  I mean you are expected to tip as soon as you get off the bus from the airport.  It is expected and most of the hotel workers, taxi drivers, etc will straight out ask you for it and wait.  Make sure you bring change, becasue they won’t give you any.  If you have a twenty and want to tip five, they won’t give you change, but might just wait for you to give them the twenty or they’ll hit you up the next time they see you. 

My favorite thing we did was going ziplining.  I had never been and while I’ll admit I was kind of nervous, as soon as I met the zipline tour guides, I was very comfortable.  They were extremely safe and assured us about all of the equipment.  The zipline tour we used was called Jaimaca Zipline Tours.

They are located out in the middle of nowhere so getting there can be a little scary if you aren’t familiar with the road.  If you aren’t careful you’ll hit a goat or chicken. Once you arrive you’ll be relieved to know that the company is owned by an American. A guy from back east actually travels around the world and builds these ziplines. What a great job! Anyway, after you get your training it’s time to get you off the ground. They take you through a series of six lines with the first one being super short. If you weigh less than 150 pounds, you might want to think about buddying up with someone so you can go faster. The max weight is 250, but if you are too light you won’t make it to the landing platform and they have to reel you in. Kind of takes the fun out of it.  About mid way you stop to rest and eat some of the best sugar cane and pineapple you will ever have.  Followed by some coconut water.

This is about a four hour affair and costs about $90 per person that is well worth it. Kids as young as five zipped with us and yes they take credit cards.

After ziplining we made our way through a huge rainstorm down to Rick’s Cafe. This place is world famous for it’s view of the sunset and cliff diving.

A few things to note before you come here. Again, BRING CHANGE. No matter how much you want to buy a drink. If you only have a $50 dollar bill, forget it. They won’t break it.  Also, the guys up in the trees, they expect tips for that and aren’t shy about asking you for it. As far as the sunset there, well it was gorgeous, but I really was so annoyed about the fact that I couldn’t have a drink, I really didn’t enjoy myself too much.

There’s a cool strip in Negril with a Margaritaville and some more bars and shops.  If you go to Margaritaville don’t drink this:

I can’t remember what it’s called, but it’s disgusting.  Make sure you bring your suits and towels so you can jump on the trampoline in the ocean.

There is a lot of poverty on the island, but as long as you stay in the tourist spots you should be ok.  It’s true they sell pot there. All over the place.  Guys will sit out in the ocean and wait and ask you if you want some ganga.  Jamaican people love Kentucky Fried Chicken.  In fact, we drove buy one that was two stories high and actually was packed. The people of Jamaica are beautiful.  We saw some of the most fit men and women ever there and man can they move their hips! Remember that they drive on the opposite side of the street there, so before you cross the street look to your right.  And finally, expect to see lots of Bob Marley stuff down there, he is everywhere and they play his music all the time.

We had a great time and will most likely go back at some point. As far as the Iberostar resort, it was ok.  Just like any other all inclusive.  The rooms were pretty nice though and the lobby was really nice and big and had a lot of comfy couches all over the place.

Paris in a Day

Deciding to take the chunnel (channel tunnel) to Paris and return the same day was a whirlwind idea. Actually, it wasn’t my idea. This really awesome man that we met in the bar the night before offered to pay for my husband to take me to Paris. It was such a generous offer and very heart felt. How could we refuse? It was definitely worth it. Spending about 8 hours in Paris ala Amazing Race pace was enough to get a taste of this beautiful city. The history that surrounded us as we wandered through the streets was overwhelming.

Our first stop on our tour was the Notre Dame Cathedral. Talk about massive. Entering the church brought tears to my eyes. There is no fee to walk through the church, but of course, they will take donations.

Next was the Eiffel Tower. It is all that you think it is and well worth the trip alone. If you go to the Eiffel Tower, plan on at least 4 hours if you want to go to the top. It’s kind of hard to take a picture of yourself with the tower in the background unless you go down the street a bit, unless of course you are willing to lie on the ground.

On to the Arc de Triomphe! Another massive piece of ancient architecture. Just as beautiful as I thought it would be. It’s pretty big as well. The Arc de Triomphe is surrounded by one of the biggest if not the biggest round about in the world. The traffic just circles around with no signals; the cars just merge in and out. It’s insane.

Before our next stop we stopped at a Beer Bar and had lunch. I had a dry salami baguette and water. When I ordered my water the waitress asked me if I wanted gas or no gas. Ahhh, no gas please! Oh yes and beware of ordering “large” sodas in Paris. Our friend ordered a large diet coke that ended up costing 14 euros which works out to somewhere around $20.

Last stop, the Louvre! The Louvre closes at 5:30pm on Thursdays. So at 5:00pm, there we were buying our tickets on a foot race to the Mona Lisa. We found her! She was not as magnificent as I had thought, but at least we can say we’ve been there. On our way out we saw a sign that pointed us to the Venus de Milo statue. You know the one with the arms cut off. So in thirty minutes we saw two of the most famous pieces of art in history. You really need 2 days to appreciate everything in the Louvre. Be prepared to see a lot of penises and boobs. They are everywhere in there. More penises though. There was definitely a whole homo erotica thing going on through out most of the pieces. I suppose that would be a whole other post though.

At any rate, would I do it again? Hell ya!

Home Sweet Home

Back from our trip to London. We really did a lot in three and half days. We stayed in an area called the Docklands which is about an hour or so from Heathrow and about thirty or so minutes from central London. That translates to about a 75 pound cab ride and 25 pounds each time we wanted to go into the city. I wouldn’t recommend staying in this neck of the woods if you are traveling to London. Definitely stay in the city.

Regardless, we had a fantastic time and I will post a separate entry about the day trip we took to Paris.

We flew Air New Zealand to London Heathrow and I just wanted to comment on what a great airline they are. Everything was on time. There was no luggage lost. The food was good. The entertainment was amazing. I watch 6 blockbuster movies between going there and coming back.

I would definitely fly them again.

SoCalWife Goes to London

I’m getting ready to go to London on Sunday. I went to buy an outlet/voltage converter so I’ll be able to flat iron my hair this time around. Did you know that you can’t just buy the outlet converter? You also have to buy the voltage converter that you plug into the outlet converter. Then you plug the voltage converter into the outlet converter, so you have this enormous thing plugged into the wall. On top of that I need two of them or four depending on how you look at it. I need one for my laptop and one for my flat iron. Ugh! $95.00 later I think I’m all set. I guess it’s better to be prepared though. I definitely don’t want to be like Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy in Just Married. Remember the part when he plugged something into the wall to charge what looked like a huge vibrator? The outlet exploded and busted open a wall in the 5000 year old castle. How embarrassing!

The weather reports for London show a lot of rain; I’m definitely bringing an umbrella and warm clothes. We’re flying on Air New Zealand. Never flown with them before, so I am hoping it will be an enjoyable experience. Well, as enjoyable as sitting on a plane for 11 hours can possibly be right?

Anyway, depending on my internet connection, I may or may not be able to blog, but I’ll be back next week with more of my daily rants.